a nighttime story ✨ 🌙 For the Kids

A shortened and simplified love story…

Summer 2016: the first month. … I got asked on a Barnes and Noble date. Summer 2016: the middle. Barnes and Noble is pretty tight, but I didn’t want to fall in love, so I fell for his friend thinking that’d stop me. Looking back, luckily, I only stumbled. I was selfish and only cared about myself. I wanted to be heard but never listened to anybody. But this boy saw me before he met me. He heard me before I spoke. I acted like I didn’t notice.

October 13th. Drugs with the kids.

“Everything is better not on purpose.”

This same day I realized some things..
• Shit is actually all very simple, that’s why it’s hard…
• We have all of the answers

January 13.
He officially fell in love with me. But at this point he was my best friend so I wasn’t looking and he didn’t tell me.

January 26th. “I’m falling for you and it’s annoying.”

January 27th. I joked about love because I was afraid of it. I have a plan and I’m gonna be a fuckin star.. I don’t need you here to ruin that.

A man with so much soul and heart should never go unnoticed or unappreciated. A man who speaks truth should never be called a liar or be disrespected. A man who has so much sympathy and love for everyone should also be loved and never lied to or lied on. A man with so much power should either be alone or with someone who knows how to love him properly and can help him breathe.

January 28th. a man who always made me tea cried to me because he was in between no longer having love for someone that wanted his love, fighting his love for someone that didn’t want his and falling into a new love. He was always the one with the answers and the vision. He was lost and he was blind. I was there to help him see again. I was there to tell him to breathe again. I was there to tell him to exhale slow and to meditate into freedom. I guess I helped him find peace.

January 29th: a birthday dinner and a first kiss. He was lost and a day away from being able to “buy alcohol at Apple Bees”. Great.
Even though we were all trying to make it about him, he couldn’t stop thinking about me. Him and I drove around for hours and had fun doing nothing, like we always do. At 5:00am my best friend kissed me slow. He looked at me like I was fresh air. I cried then laughed at myself after. I didn’t even cry when I lost my virginity but this was something else. I felt the world shake, crumble down and rebuild itself. My selfishness tried to find reasons not to kiss him more. So here they were… It wasn’t fair that he loved me when another girl loved him. It wasn’t fair that he loved me because he still loved another girl.

I felt bad because I used to like his friend, but his friend never saw the good in me nor did he care about me. I felt bad because my best friend was in love with two people and I wanted nothing to do with it, but I was one of them.
Really, it wasn’t fair that to me or Love itself, because I ran from love while I was in love the whole time. Yeah.. what.. exactly. Stupid girl.

ANYWAYS. February 1st. my plane landed in The Land Before Time. God gave us a vacation in celebration of our love.

February 2nd. “I love you.”
February 2nd // we stopped lying to ourselves.

February 3rd. Big Sean’s album came out….

February 5th-7th. My best friend and I were living inside a dream. No one knew that we spent millions of years together but we came back home on the 7th day. It was back to “normal”.

February 14th. We pretty much got married. A few days later people found out and all hell broke loose.

When hell broke loose: The Calm. Lies were told. Hearts were broken. Shit was sad but still wonderful. My art and For Your Girl Too were in the process. I enjoyed myself but stayed quiet because adding on to another persons misery is never a good choice. I sacrificed my ego in replacement for a lesson of patience and humility. Discipline at its finest. Today // Shits tight. I am balanced. I AM BALANCE. My best friend and I are in love, not on purpose. We plan to be the hottest out. We plan to save many. We will continue to share our dreams with each other and all of the good ones will become a reality. All of our fears we will face together. We found God and we see God. This is my shortened and simplified love story.

2018. It’s the next year and it’s 4:30AM. I give it all to God and I’m in love. - Jaelynn Marie // SUNNY MARIEE